Concerned

What if? 
We are heading to Kansas City on Father's day...to see my grandfather. He is very ill.  He has Leukemia and has a fever tonight....I am traveling one week from tonight....one week from tonight to see him....one week from tonight to be beside his bed and hold his hand.  I am scared....I am scared I am not going to get the chance to see him...I am scared I am going to get there and he is going to be gone.  That happened once before.
I am almost as scared to get there and see how bad he is...how sick he is...how consuming this disease is!   I hate it and I am sick of it!  It's taken too much from me and I am loosing someone else I love from this bold and awful disease.  
I am praying we make it in time...I need to see him and at least hug him and tell him I love him...I miss him.
I don't know what I am going to do without him in my life...I don't see him  that often...but I love him dearly and my kids love him dearly and they really know what is going on...and this is breaking my heart and their heart.
So I ask again...what if?