I'm not sure how to proceed...honestly my heart hurts for a new baby. My plan was to wait till something spoke to me, I guess God is speaking to Nathan. Am I on the silent treatment? I have been desperately waiting for an answer, but maybe Nathan was the one that need prompting. We (I) came to the conclusion this last week when it became painfully obvious that I was not pregnant and that we were done with that part of being parents. My heart is breaking but I know God knows the plan and it's not the same plan I had.
Anyway we kind of were on pause this last month and waiting for a sign. We got one and I moved forward with getting birth control and medication for my migraines. That is one of the most important things right now.
Youthville is a local (Wichita) foster home organization. And Sunday while Catie was selling girl scout cookies I was supervising and Nathan was off doing his own thing...cause that's what dad's do during cookie time. When we were getting ready to leave I assumed Nathan had wondered out to the car and sent Alex out to fetch him with the car so we didn't have to schlep all of the cookies back across the icy parking lot. All of the sudden Nathan pops out from behind a wall with the youthville brochure. (if you want more information) I was a first surprised to see him still inside and sent him after our son. Then it occurred to me that he picked this piece of paper up all on his own and not from me prompting him to in any way. I have been very careful to keep my thoughts to myself about the future of our having children. He did this all on his own...and when asked he said he was led to. I again left it at that...we both have a lot to think about and I don't want to force my agenda. If he feels called to follow this I will gladly follow with him. I will not however force the issue...not with all we have going on right now.
Nathan has been under a great deal of pressure at the club with a big shake up and change in management. All of the changes will be taking place in the next month and I don't want or need to put any more pressure on him. He is so awesome and supportive of all I do this is the least I can do.
Please feel free to throw a prayer up there for us...we are doing a lot of that on our own and I know we will be answering a lot of questions once I share this. Please don't hesitate to ask...I am doing ok and not feeling quite as lost and alone as I was in the last two posts.
4 comments:
Sometimes it is really hard to sit back and listen when you want something so badly and know the answer may not be what you want to hear. Perhaps God's message to Nathan and to you is that there are so many children out there that need the love of a family. While you are desperately wanting a child to love the match between the two may be perfect. Your family will continue to be in my prayers.
Dear Sally,
I was told about your blog post since I work at Youthville. I am so sorry to hear you are going through so much with your health. What a blessing that your husband found our brochure! If you would like to talk more about the option of Foster Care or if you and your husband have questions I would LOVE to talk with you. We also have live online information meetings on the 2nd and 4th Thursday of each month that you can attend from your home computer. These meetings will give you more of an insight of the different types of foster care and the process it takes to become a licensed foster home as well as answer any questions you might have. We would love to work with you in any way you might need to see if foster care would work for your family. Youthville cares for approximately 1,400 children daily in the state of Kansas who have been removed from their home by the State because of neglect or abuse. They often spend time in emergency placements and residential facilities because there are not enough foster homes available.
Dear Sally,
I was told about your blog post since I work at Youthville. I am so sorry to hear you are going through so much with your health. What a blessing that your husband found our brochure! If you would like to talk more about the option of Foster Care or if you and your husband have questions I would LOVE to talk with you. We also have live online information meetings on the 2nd and 4th Thursday of each month that you can attend from your home computer. These meetings will give you more of an insight of the different types of foster care and the process it takes to become a licensed foster home as well as answer any questions you might have. We would love to work with you in any way you might need to see if foster care would work for your family. Youthville cares for approximately 1,400 children daily in the state of Kansas who have been removed from their home by the State because of neglect or abuse. They often spend time in emergency placements and residential facilities because there are not enough foster homes available.
Terrie,
Thank you for your kind word...Nathan and I are in a great deal of prayer about our next step right now...to say I am grieving is no lie. I pray that we find our way to your organization at some point. I have no issue with becoming a foster mom again...my husband is the one with hangups about it. I have real desires to be a mom to a big family but we will have to wait till the issue with my health is resolved as well. I am working with a great team of doctors who are putting a plan together to make it better. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Please be in prayer with us. I know that whatever the future holds for me. I plan to make foster care a priority in my life...either though fostering or volunteer work.
thank you again for contacting me.
Sally
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