forgiveness

Over the past few mornings I have woke up to the memory of some strange silly thing I did in my youth...some funny, some sad, all things I need to ask God for forgiveness for, and wondered why now? 
I think that as we age we start examine the life we have lead and feel remorse for the wrongs we have caused.   I just never imaged this examination would interrupter my sleep.  And it surely has been over the last few days...I have woken up before 6 am on all of the days to sit and relive the moments and then to talk them over with God.
They just aren't the kind of moment I pictured would be troubling me...I mean the ones that would be waking me from my sleep.  They were small things.  The last one was telling my grandmother a lie...and it's the only one I can remember.  That's how insignificant they are...I can't even remember what what was keeping me awake the first two times. 
Maybe it's that God is trying to teach me in these moments....dang it if I know what the lesson is suppose to be...I need to be more awake God to pay attention to a lesson.   Or maybe it's just the act of forgiveness in it's self.  I think I am pretty good at forgiving....but maybe there is something big God is preparing me for....
Oh no...I hope not
I don't know if I am ready yet