We are still talking and working

It's hard work being married...at one point in my marriage I made the mistake of assuming it was easy and letting this relationship coast...it cost our relationship very valuable trust.   I learned that lesson and now we work very hard on our marriage.
Right now we are in crisis control...we know that there has been a breech and both of us have to manage it to get the damage under control in order to get the pieces of our lives back in places.  My husband is way better at this than I am.  He knows to pull me close.  I am pull away and handle the situation from afar while we really need to be in close proximity to each other and remember that   we love each other very much!
We made some great strides last night I think it gave us some breathing room and we will be able to relax a little.  I defiantly don't feel like my house of cards is falling down around me today so much as I have the last few days. 
Nathan I think figured out where the source of his anxiety has come from and is pretty sure that the extend wait was just to much for him.  (so strange  he is always so patient)  It's been ten weeks today since we finished our homestudy.   We were told it would take three to four weeks for the state to get us licensed and we are still waiting.
The only thing I can think is that moms have to be so patient that we just keep on waiting and waiting...with no regard to time and this might have just been too much for him....so he felt like he needed to back out.   Only that was too much for me...that was almost the straw that broke me!
I try and carry all of the family issues with all of Catie's allergies and his medical problems and my own and now he takes away the one thing the whole family is looking forward too...it was almost too much.
I almost had a nervous breakdown.    I am surprised that I didn't have a few anxiety attacks just for the hell of it.   This has been the worst ten days I have had in the last four years.
Today feels so much better...I really feel like I need to get out of the house and get some air...it feels like I have been breathing the same uncomfortable air for too many days in a row...I may go for a long walk to clear my head today, or a bike ride.