STILL waiting...

I think the state is just making sure we really are prepared to wait out any crisis the future children they put in our home are going to put us through.   My husband even made some wise ass comment last night...he NEVER makes comment about how long we have been waiting.
It really has been a long wait though.  What was suppose to be a three week wait for our license  we are still waiting for...and it has been eight weeks tomorrow since our homestudy was finished.   Some days the wait is paralyzing.   I feel angry and let down by the system, but I can't help but wonder how any children are so let down by the system as well.   It is stupid  that it has taken this long to get anything done.   I pray things get moving.
It seems like out path has been so long and yet it hasn't at the same time...from the beginning of this journey till now it has been less than a year...but when we started it seemed as if it would only take 4 or 5 months and here we wait and it is driving me crazy!
 I don't know how this would have worked if we had went down the adoption path and and just did a homestudy and  adopted.   This is similar and different all at the same time.   I know way too much about the court system and too little about the adoption system all at the same time.   CRAZY!  I need more information! 
The fact that Nathan is getting impatient tells me that this is dragging on for too long...I hope this over soon...our lives need to move on.   We need to move on.  One way or the other.  NOW.

adopt an older child?

So as our agent was walking out when she was finishing up our homestudy she told us about a 7 almost 8 year old boy who needs a home now.  His foster family was going to adopt him but has decided not to, because they are moving and cannot complete the work before the move?  
So she just mentioned it...
She was just mentioning it to all her families.  He is older than we are looking for and it concerns me that his family that was going to adopt him all of the sudden doesn't doesn't want to adopt him.   BUT at the same time this a little boy who needs a home now...
I have talked to both of the kids...Alex and Catie are both ok with the idea of having an older child live with us as long as we can be foster parents to a younger child later on.

She's So Beautiful

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vh7-RSPuAA&feature=fvwrel

I have a link to a you tube song above...it's for Mercy Me, Beautiful.  When Nathan and I were at the concert last year the lead singer said he wrote the song for his young daughter to help combat some of the harsh words she hears in the media and from negative girls around.  This week my little girl told me that some of the girls in her class have been teasing her.  My first thought was to go and straighten these girls out, but she is so young and it a good time to teach her about loving herself.  I sat down with her and had a good cry with her and shared my own problems growing up.  She seemed to understand that no escapes the other children being not nice.   We then talked about how it's not really about her but how that person isn't feeling good about themselves right at that moment.   I hope that some of it soaked in...she's so young, and I remember so well how much it hurts. 

She seemed be better the next day and we talked again about how she can feel good about herself.  She is so smart, funny, and beautiful.  I don't just day those things because I am mom...REALLY!!!

It's so hard to deal with these issues, when even at 34 I am feeling some of the same self doubt and concerns.  I pray that she sees the days when I feel strong and secure and overlooks the days when I don't!