"The conversation"

I started writing this blog a little over four years ago when Nathan and I were going through what seemed like the hardest thing I could think of...becoming Foster Parents.  As it turns out that wasn't it...walking away from becoming foster parents was harder.   I shake my head in wonder sometimes at how our lives have changed show much in four short years.   I love it hear in Salina and as we get ready to move again I wonder at what changes are going to have to happen before we are going to be foster parents again.   This is so far from where I was going with this post....I was starting this really awesome grateful post about my daughter!
So here is goes!
About a week ago we were having lunch (BBQ yummm) near home and we were listening to the song by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis Same Love https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlVBg7_08n0.
Catie piped up that she didn't know anyone that was gay...Nathan and I both choked on our lunch.  We laughed and asked her what she was talking about she knew plenty of people who were gay.  She said she didn't know who was gay...I shrugged and looked at Nathan and we began to tell her who she knew.   I will not be listing out who she knows here as Kansas and not all of our friends and family are as accepting Nathan and I are.   I will not expose any of our family and they are all family to us to ridicule.  After several minutes Catie called a stop to the countless numbers of people we were telling her about.   We explained to her that she had know most of these people most of her life and I guess it never mattered much who they loved just that they loved.   We knew and she just always understood they were apart of her life.  She never knew any different so she didn't know that there was any difference.   Many of these people were integral parts of her life...she just didn't know any different and isn't that they way it's suppose to be?
I want that kind of blindness for everyone...just see everyone the same...like an 11 year old that sees you the same as the next person.  

The Pack...OMGOSH?!?!

This is really going to happen...we are really going to buy a house?  We are really going to move for the 10th time in 17 years!
Wow how did this happen again?  I am really getting tired of packing and unpacking.  I just unpacked didn't I?  It's really only been a year since the last move.

I am getting excited about this move...I truly am!  We are buying a house!  We are going to be home owners again.  We lost our last house during the '08 collapse.  That was so much fun(insert sarcasm) we should try it again.   We are really looking forward to having something to call our own.  It's been a rough couple of years since we lost the house...we never seemed to get things right since then.
We have just been bouncing off one obstacle after another and not really getting a very good handle on the situation.
So Tuesday was the first day off from work and I wanted to make sure I made the most of it.  I got some errands ran and I did  a few chores.  I started to pack a few boxes but I could never really get going...so two boxes later I was done and I called it a day.
Wednesday rolled around and I was more ready to get some packing done but not really motivated to do it first thing in the morning.  So I worked on a blanket I am making for one of my daughter's friends for a while.  Still not feeling it...oh crap...am I ever going to get this done?  Finally I decided I better get my butt to it and just jumped in...packing here I come!   So I packed five whole boxes.  Whoo!  I am so glad I got that done!

I am so grateful that my job gives me the flexibility to take the time to get my house packed and still keep my employment.

Do you know what a food allergy looks like???

My daughter has a red dye allergy.  Any contact with red dye sends her to the bathroom usually to spend the next 20-45 minutes with severe stomach upset, cramps, bloating, gas, and you guessed it diarrhea.  If we are lucky I can get it to stop there with a couple of Benadryl and she sleeps it off...if not she then starts throwing up and that's when I have to get out the big guns...Epi-pens are not our friends, but they do save lives.   This reaction isn't the one that people hear about so often...they hear about the mouth swelling and the tongue itching.   Well the reality is this is the same thing it just take my daughter's body a little while longer to register an allergic reaction than most...and this is pretty typical of someone who has an allergy that is progressing to anaphlaxis.  The same thing is happening to her...it's just further down in her body.

 Catie has lots of know allergens.   We had allergy testing done a year and half ago to determine what she was truly allergic to.  Unfortunately there is no test for dyes and chemicals.  She has over and over again had reactions to red dyes.  We have used elimination to  determine this allergy.
Last week after Easter Catie was upset with me because I got a bag of jelly beans.  She was well and truly pissed at me that I brought this poison into  the house.  She then begged me for a green jelly bean.  I saw no harm in giving her a green jelly bean.  So I told her to get one.  I watched in horror as she got two green and one yellow and popped them in her mouth.   She then trotted out of the house as if nothing was wrong.  An hour later she came home home complaining that she was hot and cold at the same time.  Her face was bright red and her cheeks we puffed up.  She had two hives on her face.  She started to complain almost right away  that she  her stomach was hurting.   So two Benadryl later she was ready to sleep through dinner.   I do wish she would listen to me.
 We have had since had Alex tested and he is also allergic to many things.  He is doing very well since we found out he has some allergies.   We have both of the kids doing allergy shots and they both seem to be improving.  Catie is on maintenance and Alex is on build up.

I want everyone to have the access we do to free
 Epi-pens https://www.epipen.com/copay-offer/

UPDATE: This link has been revised! 

Or if you use Auvi-Q  https://www.auvi-q.com/affordability/

This link was added.

The Generic Epinephrine Injection is also available now...from Mylan
https://www.my-generic-epinephrine-auto-injector.com/
You can get a discount card for the generic injector at almost all pharmacies now.  CVS makes it very easy.  They were the first to roll out this program and have since remained the top in the market to keep it affordable.  

Since this was first published my son has since been diagnosed with a shellfish, sage and cinnamon. I have also been diagnosed with a milk allergy.  It has complicated our lives in ways I could never have dreamed of...but I now know what was wrong all those years ago when my daughter would throw up for no reason after eating in the backseat on the way home from dinner.  I have a better understanding of why my son breaks out in hives from head to toe and we have no idea why.
Catie is done with allergy shots.  Alex is on maintenance and doing well.

The Best Yes!

I Am So Grateful!!! I am way behind...but that's ok...I have no intention of trying to catch up...so I will just pick up where I am.   I am so grateful for all of the wonderful people who have supported me through another year...we have amazing people all over.  I have an amazing family mostly in Kansas City and surrounding area but some other places as well.   I have friends in all places near and far and I am so grateful to have called home Kansas City,Independence, Leavenworth, Bloomington and Salina...and soon to be Manhattan.  I have made some lifelong friends in these places and thankfully Facebook, Twitter, Google, and Pinterest have allowed me the opportunity to keep in contact with most.
This week has been so awesome...I have had celebrations of my birthday all week and I so enjoyed it.   I am not one of those people that doesn't enjoy getting older. I do enjoy my age and know that with each year it is a beautiful gift that I have been given.  I wish my mom had been given a few more of those gifts.
My title leaves so many questions...I know...
I am reading The Best Yes, By Lysa Terkeurst with my Small Group.  It is really an amazing book about choosing to say no when you need to.   Giving yourself the space to give God a chance to make things happen in your life. I am so Blessed by my small group...I love these women...they are a wonderful part of my life. If you have never been part of a small group or a women's group you are really missing out.  Small groups offer a chance to get to know your fellow church goers at a whole new level.   It also allows you to develop some friendships with people you might not have considered before.   Go ahead step out there get to know the people around you...they might surprise you.  Another thing...if you feel like you are too busy just keep this is mind.  I feel like I am on a vacation every week for an hour with my friends.  It is awesome and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Here is the book...take a look. http://thebestyes.com/
The last thing I want to share is the amazing experience Catie and I had at the Girl Scout annual volunteer luncheon and annual meeting for Kansas Heartland Conference.  I wanted her to see how Silver and Gold Award winners were honored.  I also wanted her to see how annual business was taken care of.   We had the pleasure of meeting the CEO of Girl Scouts Anna Maria Chavez.  The first Latina CEO.  She was very nice and stopped to talk to all the girls including Catie.  She was very kind and happy to take a picture with her.  She also gave Catie a very special patch for her vest signifying her meeting her.  It was a very nice afternoon.  I am very proud of Catie and the way she behaved and I think she was very impressed with the Gold and Silver awards...she was very bored with the annual business meeting however.  On the way home I was talking to Catie about what an honor it was to meet Mrs. Chavez.  To put it in perspective...the last time a CEO visited Kansas was 1990.  In 1990 I was a Girl Scout and I did not meet the CEO.  I have a picture here to prove it...I have no idea what I was thinking with this hair style by the way...

Potty training with ADHD, no one ever said this would be this hard!

He's eight!   I never ever guessed my son would still be wetting the bed at age eight on a regular basis.   We have checked to see if something else could be wrong so many time...he's fine the doctor says.  This is normal.  He's a deep sleeper and he will grow out of it.  I consult other moms to see if there children are still wetting the bed...nope.  All of my friend's children stopped wetting the bed in the normal time frame.   My son just has pushed through to the other side and is still wetting the bed in the post normal stage.  At least it feels that way.   He is growing so there is no doubt in my mind that his bladder is big enough to handle the overnight control.  We control liquid intake and make sure he "goes" before bed. We wake him two hours after he goes to sleep to "go" again.

 We wait and grow impatient for his little body and mind to catch up to the other children so we can be part of the club.   That exclusive group that seems to be eluding us so fully right now.  The one that is just out of reach the fully potty trained club.   I feel completely helpless in this because there is nothing that I can do to make this go any fast for him.   He is going to get it on his own.
We recently tried a medication to help him sleep better and it was also suppose to help him over the hump with his bed wetting.   Much to our disappointment he is still wetting the bed and he is back in pull-ups full time.  They are costly, a pain in the butt and God help us if one gets into the washing machine.  He seems to not mind so much what is going on and is not so much worried that he is still wetting the bed.  
I wonder about this off and on...I think it is strange that at one point he was almost completely done with bed wetting and now we are back to every night and completely needing the pull-ups.   Someday...I have hope and I will keep the faith!  Until then we will keep telling him to "go" before bed, take it easy on pre-bed drinks, and waking him up in the middle of the night for a midnight trip to "go" again.

By grace alone I am saved!

This Good Friday I am grateful for the loves of my life. God has given me so much.
My live revolves around these three...everyday...almost all day.  I have a grateful heart because I have a wonderful husband who works long hard hours to provide for our family.  He has worked extra hard this week to make sure things fall into place with our new house and the mortgage company.  He is a busy guy and he makes sure we are all taken care of...I am so proud that he calls me his wife and he looks at me and sees someone that he wants to stand next to.  He is the love of my life and I am darn grateful to have him!
I am grateful for that little girl that keeps me on my toes.  She is a handful.  Just like I was and she knows it.  She is amazing and brilliant and so very lovely.  She can be sweet and meek or flash and outgoing.  She is an ever changing little beauty!   She is a beautiful creature that keeps Nathan and I guessing every second about what she is going to do next.


This little boy is my wildest joy!   He keeps me hopping and that is so awesome!  The joy I get from watching him dance is unmeasurable! He is so sweet and easy to please.  I hope that we can always be this happy!

My little dancer!

Alexander is one of my biggest joys.   I absolutely love that he loves ballet.  He has gone back and forth all year long about being a ballet dancer.   He is torn about how boys can be ballet dancers.  He truly loves the art form however and you can see it in him when he moves.  He has tried to tell us at least 4 times over the course of the year that he wants to quit but as the week wears on we talk about dance or view his favorite videos and he ready to go again.  He also adores tap.   It is not my favorite type of dance but I will always humor my son and I love to see him happy and dancing.  I will list some of the links that he enjoys...if you have a little guy that dances he might enjoy them too.

School of American Ballet https://www.youtube.com/watch?

The Nicholas Brothers Best Tap Number Ever...Alexander's favorite dance by far...we watch it weekly at least...sometimes over and over again.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DF3KOLS9qLg

The third one is a commercial but it really demonstrates how strong male ballet dancers are...and that is the one thing I really think we want Alexander to understand and the people who are teasing him...and really the cause for him wanting to quit over and over again.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GND3nlj7Y-w



So not really about my grateful journal tonight accept I am grateful I have a son and I am grateful he is willing to stick to a craft he really enjoys because I love watching him dance!

Feel free to comment!

Gratitude attitude

There might be something to this grateful journal...I am starting to feel something change in my life.  I definitively  can feel the shift in my perspective.   I can see my kids picking up on my better mood too.    I hope my husband is seeing the improvement in my mood  as well.
My kid are enjoying the the new change of pace...
Today I am really grateful for my small group ladies!  They Rock...I laughed so much tonight and had so much fun this evening.   I love these ladies...they make
everything so much better for my week.   I am so going to miss them!
I also am grateful for my puppy dog Rusty Roo.  He is such a good puppy dog!   He is such a good companion and my best little friend.
I grateful for pizza...and late night snacks...I love pizza!