staring contest...

I feel like Nathan and I have entered into this long drawn out staring contest and everyone was excited to watch for a few minutes and really pulling for one side or the other for a while.   Now they are all just a little bored...are we too? Did he blink?  Is that where the uncertainty is coming from?   We have gone over the same conversation a hundred times...a hundred ways...we are questioning everything...ourselves...the system...the people we feel supporting us.   All of these things seem so strange because just a few months ago everything seemed so right...the waiting is so hard.
Patience!
God is teaching us one of the hardest lessons of our lives and we have to wait though it...there is nothing we can do but go though...there is no over or around...just though. We are learning a lot about ourselves and each other...though it all we are standing strong...
I am proud of us...I have been really worried at points that we could not make it though this...but I think that this is not a hurdle that we won't have any trouble clearing...
"God is just learning us a lesson"
Really there was only one day that I didn't want to get our of bed and deal with the world...Nathan is darn lucky his parents were in town that day and I knew that I didn't want to reveal this to them or this might have spiraled into something really bad...I got out of bed and put on a happy face and dealt with the day.   It was a really hard day...it was a shitty day in fact.   After that day I knew that I was going to live and we were going to work this out because we have survived worse and made it though to the other side.
We still don't have all the answers...I made a call to our pride trainer after talking to a wonderful friend who has been though the foster care process a few times.  She recommended being more proactive and calling our trainer and seeing where everyone else in the class was...see if everyone else had their license.  So I called her...she said to give our agent a call more often...not be so patient...the agency is under budget and under staffed and likely she isn't calling because we are low priority.   We need to reminder that we really want this...and find out why we haven't gotten our license yet.    So Nathan called...no answer...I called...no answer...I will try again...
I will get an answer....maybe I should let Nathan try...he remembers things better than I do and he will have a better change of making sense of the conversation that I will.
I hate waiting!!!!