The meeting went really well...more on that another day. I have another topic I've been meaning to get to and been hiding from. While I was driving Alex to school yesterday I was examining my life...as I do on many short pointless drives. What does this all mean...who am I, what is my goal? That sort of thing...and while I was sitting there the questions and self doubt pop into my head. What do my parents think of my decision to be a stay at home mom...I only have 2 children...surely I could put them in daycare and go pursue a career of some sort. It's not like I have 5 or 6 and they take up all the time in the day....but wait...they do...and I feel called to be at home with my children. Making sure they are getting what they need. I mean I'm not a lawyer or a banker or a writer....but was in reality was I going to do any of those things anyway? Do I somehow feel like a disappointment to them...even though I might not have had a very exciting job anyway...I likely would have worked in retail..or art. Those aren't super high power jobs and might even be considered disappointing to some parents...so I don't know if I would have ever lived up to the dreams they have for me.
On the other hand...my parents have been mostly supportive of my life decisions. They don't make me feel like a disappointment...so maybe I am just disappointed that I didn't do more....but I feel like I have a VERY important job right now. Someday I will get the chance to start over...I'm just going to be more mature and I guess more prepared for the real world because I have been living in it for so long already.
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